The rubber stuck to Hallie’s sweaty palm. It was surprisingly light. The stairs were steep as she climbed them hurriedly. The noise of the gravel on the driveway stopped, and Hallie heard her Mum’s soft footsteps from the car door. Running for her bedroom, she shut the door and collapsed onto her bed.

“Hallie! I’m home, but I have to go back…is that okay? I know you wanted a chat, but we can catch up later. Okay?”
Hallie ignored her mum’s comments bitterly. It was what she had predicted, this morning when her Mum dismissed her need for comfort. “Hallie?” Why should she talk to her? It wouldn’t make it easier, harder if anything. Turning the stereo on, Hallie turned up the volume. Blocking out the noise downstairs helped clear her mind. Soothed by the warmth and comforts of her safe room she closed her eyes. She tried to remember what her Nan used to say, “To the older kids when they try to take your marbles”, she’d said. It was silly and untrue. Hopeless words. It often made kids worse. She felt sudden resentment towards the old lady who she used to be so close to until she became spiteful and resentful during her drawn out passing. Sitting up Hallie frowned, pushing a loose hair strand from her cheek and screwing up her face in anguish. Her ribs still ached heavily; they had barely touched her, not kicked, or punched. Just pushed, and spat, shoved and, shouted. She could still hear their cruel words spat in her face as she lay on the floor, her back tender and sore. Hugging herself, she could still see their faces snarling down at her. Humiliated she lay on the cold concrete floor trying hard to suppress the urge to cry, or shout.

She glanced down at her right hand. It was clenched into a fist, and her knuckles were white. She could feel her nails digging into her soft palm, but a little more pain was nothing compared to the years of torment.
Years and no one noticed. Well, of course some did. The other girls in her class saw the malicious remarks as they passed in the corridor.
That’s all it was at first, for months. It was depressing. She soon had no friends. There was always the threat that they could hurt Hallie. That’s what they liked. Then Hallie became weak, she couldn’t be bothered to ignore them, it was too hard and pointless. The bullies began pushing and before she knew it she was on the floor with a broken rib. Tiresome and troubled, Hallie had pretended it was an accident. Disbelieving, her Mum questioned it, and it took a while to convince her. She had never lied to her Mum, it made her feel guilty. Somehow, she just couldn’t tell anyone.

Hallie froze; above the forceful noise of her music she was sure she’d heard footsteps. Sliding her hand under the covers, she turned the music down. She heard her Mum’s soft tap on the door, “Hallie…I’m sorry I have to go back, I know its unfair but it means we can go on holiday in the summer…” Hallie started to soften; if she stood up and opened the door her Mum would see what she held. Hallie would cry, tell her everything and it would all be better, normal again. Hallie could imagine it. She might have even gone with her instinct had she not been able to sense a vague hint of impatience in her Mum’s voice. “I have to go now; Hallie There’s a curry downstairs I cooked earlier. I’ll be home late.” She sighed. “Bye. Love you.”
“Love you too.” Hallie replied.

Hallie listened to the light footsteps down the stairs, the jangle of keys and her Mum across the gravel again. Hallie, remaining out of sight, watched her Mum. Suddenly, she felt very alone.

Slowly Hallie sat back on the bed, remembering what she would do. Shaking, she pulled back her sleeves.

Suddenly, it was silent. Her Nan’s face was pictured clearly in her mind. The nice lady, who gave her chocolate and money, hugs and love. What was that rhyme? It’s not important, she told herself. Forcing the rhyme from her mind Hallie focused on what to do.

Do it now. Hallie thought. With a harsh blow to her wrist, blood oozed from the cut. A piercing pain surged up her left arm. Closing her eyes Hallie took deep breaths. The girl’s faces pictured clearly in her mind, sneering down at her. Hallie struck herself again in a fit of anger, again and again. She lay down on her bed, sobbing.

As the tears fell from Hallie’s face, and the blood flowed over her wrist, she whispered the words that could have helped her, the words that couldn’t reach her and so many in time.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones,
but words will never hurt me."