The Captivating Tale of How Sarah Hit a Deadline

I, Sarah Louise Mae McFadden, have to write a story.  Must... write… something.   Anything.  Over to you, Pen.  Go on, shoo, be off with you.  Go forth; be wild and free.  Write those breathtaking works of staggering genius contained within your ink cartridge.  Realise your potential! Live your dreams! You know you want to.  OK, be like that then. I’m going to get me a drink. Yum.  Ooh, something’s happening!  New people here to keep me company! Yay!  Wow, that dude’s hot.  Go on, do something cool… no, not that. Just pretend you haven’t noticed him.  Great, now I’ve spilt apple juice down myself.  Real smooth, Sarah, you know how the “I-need-a-bib” look is always in Vogue.  OK, concentrate.  Story, story, storystorystory… hey, I started writing “story” and now it’s a flower!  How lovely.  But not a story, dammit.  Maybe I can write a story about my flower.  His name is Wilbur.  He is a happy flower…Wilbur the happy flower… maybe not quite what my adoring readers are after.  They want something… deep… and thought provoking… something hard-hitting and mysterious and romantic and scary and action-packed all at the same time.  Maybe Wilbur isn’t a happy flower after all.  Maybe he’s a sad flower… a refugee.  Yeah, he’s a refugee from Flowerland, forced to flee to Grassistan due to the machinations of The Dreaded Bush… Hey, it’s satire!  But way better than the satire we did in English.  Obviously.    Anyway… He’s left his family, including his wife Ethelred and baby Apple Maquisha back in Flowerland… that’s why it’s hard-hitting and romantic.  What next?  I know… when he gets to Grassistan, he finds that the streets are being menaced by… dandelions.   Zombie dandelions!  Ninja  zombie dandelions!  Genius.  Hm… what’s the hot guy up to?  Oh, he’s just sitting there.  Hey, I’m just sitting here too!  And chronicling the adventures of  Wilbur the happy Flower, but that’s beside the point.  We have something in common!  OK, focus.  This table is nice, all smoothie and white… I’ve never really appreciated the full beauty of this table before… No!  Bad Sarah.  Think about ninja zombie dandelions.  What about them?  Someone is responsible for zombifying the dandelions and teaching them their ninja skills… but who??? Well, that’s what Wilbur must find out.  So there’s mystery.  And he shall have many adventures.  There’ll be gratuitous violence too, and it’ll all be muchly exciting.  Wow.  So, I have my story idea, and the appropriate pretty pictures.  Great.  Hmm… suppose I’d better start writing then… over to you, Pen.