“Do you often think about where your life is heading?” I asked James, I was in a philosophical mood and was craving a deep, meaningful conversation.

“Uhhh, not really I guess. I’m more of a ‘go with the flow’ kind of guy, I guess”

“Hmm.” Deep conversation over.

I really was in one of those moods; the type of mood where everything around you is glorified, intensified and stunning. Everything seemed perfect around me, everything was perfect: family, friends, school, money, looks...they were all in place, all aligned together working in harmony. My mind began to wander onto the intricacies of life, my mind often wandered it was all the creative energy buzzing away, eager to explore.

“See you tomorrow Ashleen!” yelled James. I gave a wave and smiled a genuine smile of warmth whilst continuing down the road to reach my house. It was autumn and the array of rich colours, oranges, reds and yellows were basking in the glory of the sun; as I continued to walk my vision was obscured by the sheer force of the light which made my future path hard to identify. I raised my hand up to my eyes in an attempt to shield the luminosity radiating from the sky and for a moment it worked; my eyes could breathe again.  But suddenly the light began to intensify and pain seared across my forehead; flashing lights of all the colours of the rainbow shone out, a kaleidoscope of colour. Then darkness, a heavy velvety darkness that enveloped both my mind and my brain causing confusion and bewilderment, stunning me momentarily. Reaching up I felt the familiar fabric of my duvet. Was it just a dream? I stumbled out of bed and walked up towards the door but did not succeed as the clatter of chains tugged at my ankle, fumbling in the darkness I reached down and felt the iciness of the chain around me – I was trapped, I was lonely and I was scared.

“Muuuuummmm!” I roared at the top of my voice, if I could not use movement my bellowing vocals would be the next best thing.

I heard footsteps, the door opened and then there were whispers.

“Shhh, Ashleen be quiet. What do you think you’re doing? They’ll hear us. They’ll hear us they will!” She was hysterical and her features looked tired, deflated and lacking life.

I lowered my tone.

“What do you mean?” I hissed.

But my Mother just walked away, across the landing and down the stairs. Still in darkness I managed to manoeuvre my way towards my bedroom window and opened the curtain.

Outside lay a desolate landscape that looked scarred and injured, too exhausted to carry on. Humans were tied together by chains and, by the looks of it, being given orders by a commander who was entirely dressed in black. If this was a dream, I thought, I need to get back to sleep. Laying back down I closed my eyes forcefully trying to drift back into an unconscious like state where I was safe and secure.

The bedroom door creaked open but I kept my eyes firmly shut.

“What do you think you’re doing?!” my Mother cried.

I opened both my eyes and sat up. What did she mean? What does it look like I’m doing?

“I’m sleeping”.           

My Mum bounded over to me and pulled me out of the bed; the light from the open bedroom door masked her face, she looked menacing and enraged.

She leant forward to my face so that I could feel every word that she was about to say.

“Sleeping? Sleeping? Do you not understand, sleep does not exist in this world? We don’t need sleep, sleep is evil. Sleep lulls us into dreams we cannot comprehend, it controls us. Sleep is evil.”

Then she turned around and left. It was then that I had a sudden realisation: this world was real, my life before had just been a dream before, too perfect to be real. This was reality and no sleep could save me now. I moved back towards the bedroom window so that the gentle light could clarify my body. I raised my hand, caressing it to ensure it was real. It was then that I remembered what my Mother had told me once before, something that made everything clear – it was all in my name, my name was trying to tell me it all along: Ashleen is Gaelic for Dream.