January
By Rachel / Spinebreakers Crew
New Year’s Resolutions
Every year, it’s the same old story. Girls in my class swear to themselves, “Not another scrap of chocolate, not a single speck of fat from now on” while complaining to their friends about how the holiday weight just won’t shift. Smokers pledge that they will stop, drinkers promise to cut back, people decide to make a change in their lives. Only, they never do. A couple of months down the line, and suddenly the year isn’t so new any more and promises fade away into obscurity.
My name is Molly, and, no matter how much the previous text might contradict the following statement, I am not a cynic or a pessimist. I am one of life’s observers, you know the sort. The sort of person who catches the little things that everyone else misses, the sort of person who has those little things stored permanently in their brain. One of the most obvious observations I always conclude to at the time when one year turns into another is the fact that we always start out the New Year in the worst possible way. We make promises which are made to be broken, starting things of by lying to ourselves. Fantastic (I may not be a cynic, but I’m definitely prone to sarcasm)!
So, this year, I’ve decided to do something I never do. Something which goes against everything that I always rant about, everything I always protest against. I am making a New Year’s resolution. I’m setting myself up to become a liar, to see myself disappointed, and the worst part is I know full well what I’m doing. However, I’ve decided that I simply don’t care all that much about it anymore. Everyone else makes a New Year’s resolution, what makes me so special, so unique, not to take part in such a big promise?
Unlike most people, I’m not saying I’m going to lose weight, and I don’t smoke or have anything even resembling a drink problem. My New Year’s resolution is to live my life to its potential; I’m seventeen, still at school and haven’t ever done anything impulsive (probably one of the worst side effects of being observant; you see how impulsiveness turns out and it usually ends badly) and that is something I want to change. Instead of making a list of everything I want to change about myself, everything that is wrong with my life, I’m going to list everything that I haven’t done yet, everything I still have to do – and do them. Maybe not all in this one year (come on, that really would just be setting myself up for disappointment), but I am definitely going to make a start. After all, what’s the worst that could happen? I want to look back at my life, when I’m old and grey, and find fond memories their, not bitterness for not doing all the things I could.
So, this New Year, I’m breaking out, against myself. Wish me luck!