'Teenage crisis, Agony Aunt soothes Plum's pain'
By Samara Straker / Spinebreakers Crew
Dear Agony Aunt,
my name is Plum and I did a terrible thing! I stole from my friends and now they all hate me. I know this may sound stupid, but I thought somehow if I stole their objects, I could have an influence over them because I hate them always leaving me out. Like, even before they discovered the suitcase under my bed, they were all mocking me, trying to imply that I could only be a model if I put make - up on, and to make matters worse they bought me make- up for my birthday. They didn’t even care about me that much on my birthday, even though it was my birthday, they just cared about Caroline, when she was originally my best friend. And even before that, when I let them pierce my ears, they didn’t even say thank you to me for letting them do it. And I know that they were the one doing me a favour, but they really begged me to do it and they didn’t even care about my feelings when I was a bit squeamish because it hurt so much. It’s not like I stole anything valuable, it was only like a bracelet and a yoyo, and I know stealing is wrong, but I didn’t expect them to get so mad about it, and now they’re not talking to me and I walk around in school all by myself and I feel so isolated and lonely, please help me...
Dear Plum,
no you are not stupid. This is a common problem so don’t feel like you’re alone. Let me tell you now, that there is nothing fundamentally wrong with what you have done. In fact, in my teenage years I remember feeling like you. I felt that no matter how many friends I had around I was always lonely. It was those years at secondary school when I felt I didn’t fit in. This had a huge impact on me in college; I think my insecurities were getting in the way of me making friends. So I decided to go off on my own altogether. At first, it was hard for me but after a while I stopped caring. I’m not saying I got to be the most popular person but I’m just saying things will get better. The way you come across Plum, you sound like you’ll have friends in no time, at least you were part of their group at one stage, that’s a blessing in itself. If anything, I think you should take this opportunity to get in touch with yourself. Find other ways to channel your loneliness, find out what it is you love to do. This could be reading, listening to music or even if you have a PSP or Nintendo DS, take it to school and play it. Also, Plum, in a time like this you must realise how important your family are. Don’t worry too much about friends, when you’ve got a whole set of people waiting for you at home who truly love and adore you. And remember, it’s not necessarily always good to just be a follower because that just adds to the head count! See Plum, this opportunity is a blessing; you get to find out what things you really love and want to do. Join an after school club and make friends there, find out if you love art or science and whether or not you really want to be part of those friends that you so desperately cling to.